Cranky, and on the opposite of crank

Maybe I haven't been clear*. But here goes.

1. Unions shouldn't get automatically certified without an election. (This is a position I take which goes against Barack H. Obama's position, I maintain that position although every other time I have disagreed with policy with the man I have turned out to be wrong.) There's no reason elections can't happen fair and quickly. Protip: if you're the owner of a company and your workers hate you so much they want to go union: fire all your managers. Consider that the problem may be you. So quit. Get better managers.

2. Every worker should have the human right to collectively bargain. Let individuals or groups of workers bargain together with management.

Protip: if you have cranky workers you have bad management. If only one guys is cranky, fire him. If it's the whole crew, fire yourself.

Protip: if you provide good benefits your workers will be less cranky.

Unions are not endowed with mystical powers. They can't force workers to do things, they can't force management to do things. Everyone has to get together and agree. We call that "negotiations".
Protip: "The Union won't let you do X" is malarky. The union has no control over you, your employer does. Now maybe your employer has made an agreement with a union and has set down particular rules and you need to follow those rules. But you have to follow them because Management told you, not the Union.

*About my very important opinion on this matter.